May Reads

Another wee stack this month!  May’s – accidental – theme has definitely been that of trauma and turmoil. I’ve read about domestic violence, death, loss, infertility, cancer, mental health, addiction, bullying, dementia just to name a few. As I wrote in my previous post, until now I’d actively avoided such themes but I suppose shying away from these is not the most helpful road to recovery.  Nevertheless a wee pat on the back for me for bravery (and yes, I’m counting it as such even though said bravery has largely been achieved under at least two of these conditions: a) in jammies b) under a blanket c) with a sausage dog for comfort d) with tea).

Several of this month’s reads were bought from the magical place of second-hand books (they smell soooo good) that is Wigtown – check out Readinglasses! Comfy chairs, AMAZING cake and doggo-friendly – what more do you need?

There are some great personal takeaways for me from these books. Firstly, trauma is not linear: there is not a clear path to ‘getting over it’ or when it will hit you or how. As a goal-oriented person, this has been a hard lesson to learn and something I beat myself up about a lot: why can’t just get over it/it’s been two years/just keep going and you’ll get there. Secondly, trauma can be difficult to recognise: what makes one horrible event traumatic and another not? I’m covered in scars (I’m actually v proud of them), have lots of sore bits and am now cancer free. Other than that I’m actually recovered physically. It’s the mental trauma that’s stayed with me and I suppose that’s why I was so confused when treatment ended and I felt like I’d been dumped in the middle of nowhere rather than celebrating. Being told treatment was over and I was cancer free was the worst day of my life, and it’s very hard to explain why. Thirdly, trauma recovery seems to be more about recognising it than drawing a line under it and moving on. There doesn’t seem to be an end rather than the ability to say ahh, actually I’m just traumatised because of this thing that happened to me (this took me two years, really). There’s a smashing framework called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which I’ve been reading up on – the first step is actually giving yourself permission to feel rubbish about the rubbish thing that happened to you before moving on to the ‘next steps’ bit.

Anyway, I digress:  here are my May reads!

• Dog Days –  Ericka Waller
• It Ends with Us – Colleen Hoover
• The Appeal – Janice Hallett
• Magpie – Elizabeth Day
• Greenwich Park – Katherine Faulkner
• Snowflake – Louise Nealon
• Dark Dawn – Matt McGuire
• Elizabeth is Missing – Emma Healey

So Many good reads this month! It’s actually hard to pick a favourite but I think Snowflake just pips the others to the post. It follows Debbie, a young Irish girl who lives on a dairy farm and navigates life at college while grappling with difficulties at home. If ‘coming of age’ is not your thing, it is also not mine but I bloody loved this book anyway.

A close second favourite this month is Magpie. I rolled my eyes at the gaping plot holes then actually screamed at the twist. I did not see it coming and it was brilliant. Greenwich Park was a logical follow-on as it shares many of the same themes but overall I found it a bit long and drawn out but Oh Emm Gee: the final sentence! I made the ‘OOOOOOH’ noise I used to shout at a reveal in Line of Duty (Jed Mercurio – I forgive you for the series 6 finale – PLEASE make another series). This isn’t really a spoiler alert – it won’t really mean anything until you’ve read the whole book.

The Appeal and Elizabeth is Missing both play about with conventional narration in an interesting way. I started reading The Appeal back in Feb and just couldn’t get into it. With a bit of encouragement – thanks, VT! – I gave it another go and I’m so glad I did! This book is a lot of fun: it isn’t as much a novel as a collection of documents which you read to work out firstly what crime has taken place, the key players and of course the big whodunnit. Elizabeth is Missing is a tough read: it’s told from the perspective of Maud who suffers from Dementia, giving a whole new meaning to the unreliable narrator genre. This was such a good book; I cried, giggled and furrowed my brow a lot. I loved it.

Dog Days was a bit of a let-down for me.  It jumps around telling the tale of three interlinked humans, all of whom who have doggo chums.  This book was almost great but it wasn’t quite gritty enough for me.  I’m not sure wrapping up tales of trauma into a neat bow at the end gives the themes in the book sufficient justice.  It Ends With Us did a lot better – I Cried A Lot. 

Right, that’s more than enough from me – a mega post this month!  See you soon and thanks for reading.